Few people get into a long distance relationship by choice. It is, after all, a way of life that presents you with various hurdles.
Spontaneity, a quality that is often held up as a positive part of dating, is pretty difficult when you have to synchronise schedules just to talk on the phone.
The reassuring presence of your significant other, so often a comfort in the toughest times, is something you don’t get to experience. Issues like these are what people have in mind when they insist that LDRs “don’t work”.
And let’s be clear, a long distance existence is not something that even its proponents suggest is a desirable end state. If you’re in such a relationship, the unspoken part of it is “for now”.
The intention is, almost invariably, that the distance will be closed: your work secondment will come to an end; his house sale will go through and he can move; her visa will be approved.
To keep that incentive in mind, it is important to know that long distance relationships can work and that there are even advantages to the initial distance. The following are some reasons why that is the case.
3 reasons why long distance relationships can work
Your emotional bond will grow and strengthen
Some relationships burn very brightly in the early days, before hitting the buffers the moment things get complicated or serious.
In a typical, distance-free coupling, there are a lot of matters to consider – and they can become points of disagreement. Whether it’s related to how often you see each other, what you do together, or when the relationship gets physical, a relationship that starts brightly can burn up fast, too.
If you can’t be together geographically, that means the relationship naturally has to progress more slowly – and you’ll really get to know one another.
When you do get time together you really value it
Usually in an LDR, the long stretch of time apart will be broken up by a visit here and there. Even if it isn’t, though, the end goal is that you’ll eventually get time together.
When you’ve been separated by geography, there is next to no chance that you’ll get bored in one another’s presence, and that’s worth bearing in mind.
So many of the things that lead to a married couple seeking out divorce solicitors are related to familiarity breeding contempt. Sometimes a relationship being easy makes people complacent, but that’s not a hurdle you’ll run up against.
Plans for the future can be properly thought through
Remember the point about how spontaneity is difficult when you’re apart? That’s a double-edged sword. Spontaneity is often wonderful, like when you throw a party and it’s more relaxed because it was spur-of-the-moment.
Spontaneity can also be less positive, like when you pop around unannounced to surprise a friend and they’ve just received bad news.
When every step has to be planned, it might seem like you’re missing out on a spark – but it does mean you can construct something that will suit you both and stand the test of time.
You may not choose to have a long-distance relationship, but when you’re in one, it can certainly have its positives – you just need to be prepared to see them.