Most often than not, before a relationship finally comes to an end, there are little things that happen that we often overlook. Sometimes we don’t even realize these things until the relationship ends. Other times, we see them but ignore or we don’t bring them up because we fear we might lose our partner if we do.
If you are in a relationship and you are really looking forward to spending a lifetime with your partner, below are 6 things you shouldn’t overlook.
Things that may be hurting your relationship
1. Lack of trust
Events happen in life that make trusting other people challenging and intimidating. Lovers lose trust in one another and relationships when one partner is caught in a lie.
Lost of trust in relationship can really hurt the relationship. If you develop a feeling that your partner is hiding something from you, it’s important that you have trust in your partner to help maintain your relationship well.
You can simply talk to them about your insecurities and give them the chance to explain things to you. This is because sometimes things aren’t as we make them up in our head. It is only by talking to your partner that you can really know what is happening.
It can be hard to trust your partner again if they’ve let you down before. But if you really want your relationship to work out, then it is important that you give them the benefit of the doubt.
Once there is trust in the relationship, you feel confident in the relationship and other aspects of your life as well.
2. Low or no efforts towards the relationship
When you’re in a relationship where you are giving much more than your partner is giving, it can be a very frustrating situation. Especially, if you feel like you are trying too hard but they don’t seem to care.
This is a very common thing in most relationships. There’s always that one person that seem to care more about the relationship and tries so hard. But a relationship is meant for two. Just one person can’t make it work. Both of you have to put in the same efforts to make the relationship last.
So if you are in a relationship and you want that relationship to last, then put in more effort, don’t let your partner be the only one invested in the relationship. And if you feel you are doing more and your partner seems to care less, then let them know how you feel and what you want.
Sometimes, they may not even realise that you feel they don’t care. So talk to them. Let them know how you feel. Let them know you will appreciate a random text from them in the middle of the day. Let them know it makes you happy if they ask how your day was.
3. Lack of Communication
Without communication it’s almost impossible to get on the same grounds and keep your relationship afloat. Lack of communication can cause misunderstanding between you and your partner.
When you lack communication in the relationship, it makes you focus more on yourself than your partner or vice versa. This makes it challenging to take your partner’s perspective into account when doing something or making decisions and that can eventually ruin the relationship.
So make it a point to communicate more in your relationship. Find the right time, a time that works for you both and sit together and talk about your relationship. Let them know if they did something that upset you. Let them know if they did something that made you happy.
Doing this will let them know the type of things you like and what you dislike, so that they will know how to treat you next time.
Before you make any big decision, make sure you have had a conversation with your partner to know their stand on the decision before you do, this let them know that you care about their opinion and you respect what they have to say.
4. Feeling of contempt
Once you begin feeling contempt in a relationship, then you should know that relationship is in trouble. Contempt sterns from unresolved misunderstandings and resentments.
Usually in relationships, we mostly focus on the big problems like cheating, lying and financial problems. But those little things we overlook, the ones we think are nothing. The little things that we don’t even pay attention to, those ones can cause really big problems as the years go by.
Things like your partner ignoring your opinion when they were buying a new appliance or your partner not saying thank you when you do something for them because they are used to you doing that for them.
Things like these seem minor but as they keep happening they can lead to contempt in the relationship. That is why it is always important to let them know when they offend you.
Always try to take your partners opinion into account. Put yourself in their shoes. Treat them like you would want them to treat you. Be nice to them. Yes, in long term relationships, you eventually get comfortable with the person but remember that they are their own person too and you must try not to make them feel like they are been taken for granted.
5. Lost Of Interest
As we all know, long-term relationships are never usually the same as it was in the beginning. All the newness and novelty wears off in time, and that can mean interest fades as well.
It can be difficult to tell that you’ve lost interest in your partner if you still love them. But just because you still have feelings for them doesn’t mean you’re invested in the relationship as you used to be.
For example your body doesn’t get excited around your partner anymore. This is the number one sign that you’ve lost interest in your partner. When you don’t feel the ‘turned on excitement’ in your body when you’re around them. If that desire is gone it makes it very difficult to be committed in the relationship.
For instance, if you start ignoring some of your partner’s text or calls, it’s because you have lost interest or you don’t want to deal with them and this is a sign that you have really lost interest in your partner.
That is why it is important to find new ways to spice things up in your relationship. Try new things together. That way you will both keep being interested in the relationship even if you’ve been together for long.
This is because if you leave the relationship because it got boring over time, the same thing is going to happen with your next relationship. Unless you decide to get in a new relationship every month. And that can’t be good for anybody. So find new ways to keep things exciting with your partner.
5. Emotional cheating
Emotional cheating is still cheating. If you find yourself or partner envisioning better life even if with a fictitious partner then it shows you’re not fulfilled by your current relationship life.
If you discuss your relationship problems with a potential romantic partner, that is not a good sign. You should be able to tell your partner what’s upsetting you.
But if you’re unable to tell your partner and you try working it out with someone that’s more potential or romantic than your partner, it means you’re seeking an understanding connection with someone else. And that can’t be good for your relationship.
The thing is, the person you try to talk to will make you feel like you want to feel especially if they like you and want a relationship with you. They will make you feel like they can do better if they were the ones you were with.
But that is usually not true. They make you feel that way just to make you feel safe to be with them and eventually, you will start trusting them instead of your partner.
So if you want a long lasting relationship watch out for these things. Communication has always been and will always be the key. Communicate with your partner. Be assured that you are both on the same page in your relationship.