When it comes to parenting, most often than not, parents wonder if they are doing the right thing with the way they are raising their kids or not. But the thing is that most of the things that we are worried about are actually nothing.
But that doesn’t mean everything we do when it comes to raising our children is right. There are times that we do the wrong things without even knowing how bad they are or how much they are affecting our children.
Your child’s attitude and character depends on what he or she learns from you as the parent. What your child experiences and learns at the early stages of their lives have an imprint on their lives.
But there are series of actions that can seriously harm your child’s attitude and psychology. This is not restricted to a single act but it’s a collection of acts that usually contributes to harmful effect on the child.
Some parents are unaware of these actions. Most parents do not intentionally portray these acts but it still does not reduce the negative impact on the children.
Parents are children’s first teacher. One of the most hardest task to achieve is good and consistent parenting style. Bad parenting has a lasting consequence on children.
Most people are fond of using their own upbringing as a blue print for parenting. But some of these parenting styles are more harmful than beneficial to your child.
Below we will discuss 7 things you could be doing wrong with your children without even realizing.
Things you are doing wrong with your children
1. Physical or verbal abuse
Exposing your child to physical or verbal violation can really hurt his or her well being. Most parents put their frustrations on their children without knowing the sort of physical damage it can cause his or her child’s life.
A slap or spanking can affect your child’s psychology for a couple of years. These form of abuse may cause your child to lose trust and confidence and rather develop an inferior complex.
Physical and verbal abuse can cause lifelong psychological, physical, behavioral problems. People who are verbally or physically abused may struggle with poor mental heath issues. This can include include; anxiety, crime, self harm just to mention a few.
Punishment might be required when a child does something wrong, but when they are extensively punished for small matters it can cause a mental or physical damage.
A child requires positive physical and psychological contact with their parents from kisses to hugs and other lovely signs of affection.
2. Setting a bad example
There are most parents who do nothing to discourage bad behavior in their child’s life. Such parents usually turn blind eyes towards their child’s problematic behavior.
As the saying goes “what you sow is what you reap” If you’re a parent that shouts or use bad words in front of your children then it’s certain that your children will take after you as blueprints .
If your parent is in no position to stop you from developing bad habits then it’s hypocritical to forbid the activity that they have put in place for their own child. For example; If parents use drugs or other harmful substances, then children may eventually do the same.
This can be harmful when parents make it clear to the other child that they prefer one child over the other one. When this happens, children are likely to develop depression later in life as a result of their parents favoritism over the other child.
Unequal treatment has negative effects on all siblings, not just the unfavored child. In most households, boys usually get preferential treatment which makes girls feel inferior and neglected.
Also many parents also have the habit of complaining about their own children, they sometimes grumble complains about their child in front of other kids. Parents who are overly unfair, or biased end up damaging their children with their behavior.
4. Not setting rules
Children need structure and boundaries in order to grow up to be healthy in life. If the child is not given the needed rules and regulations he or she will grow up to be indisciplined. When such happen your child will suffer when they leave home.
It is true that a parent usually knows what is best for his or her child, but some parents force their choices onto their children without considering their interests, intelligence level, or capabilities.
Many parents are found to be very controlling and strict. They always try to project their unfulfilled dreams and ambitions on to their children which is not a good trait.
An Authoritarian parent is one who demands a constant obedience to rules and regulations. Such a parent, threatens, shame and uses punishment to enforce good behavior.
A child requires encouragement and motivation. But forcing them to be something that goes against their own nature can affect them adversely and it can damage the child’s behavior outside home.
6. Lack of trust in your child
This sort of behavior can cause a child to rebel or do things they are not supposed to do. When parents do believe other children rather than their own child, they sometimes do not allow their child to give explanations.
Many parents do not have faith in their children but they sometimes demotivate them with words that damages the child’s psychology. When this happens, children turn to do things that they are not supposed to do.
Showing that you trust your child may help them act with more integrity and honesty when they interact with you.
7. Lack of support
Most kids need support from their parents especially during stressful times. For example when their exam is approaching. When such situation happens children need motivation and constant support from their parents.
When parents fail to give their children the needed attention and support to boost their moral support and help build their self confidence they mostly end up failing because they had no one to support or motivate them during the crucial moments in their life.
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