Marriage goes beyond I love you and you love me. The harsh reality is, when it comes to marriage, love is not enough. You can’t just jump into marriage just for the sole reason that we are in love.
Before you get married, before the vows, make sure you have completely discussed these issues. When I say completely, I mean you have talked and come to a conclusion on these things before you say I do.
Nobody goes into marriage with the hopes of getting divorced after some time. Everybody wishes that when they finally meet someone and they settle down, that will be it and they will be together till death.
And truly, that is totally possible. But for that to actually happen, you need to be totally aware of what you are getting into before you say I do. That is why it is important to talk about these 5 things before you get married.
These 5 things are the leading causes of divorce in marriage. So make sure you and your partner have talked about these before the vows. When you wait till after marriage that is when you realize you are not compatible with the person you married because you have different views on these things.
So it is very important that you sit down together, have a genuine and honest conversation about these and come to a mutual understanding before you get married.
5 things to talk about before you get married
1. Your dreams and goals
You have to let your partner know your goals in life. What you want, what you are working towards, what you are trying to achieve. This way they will know if they can be in support of that.
Our goals and aspirations influence a lot of decisions we make in our lives. This can include the work we decide to do, the place we choose to stay and when we will be ready for kids. That is why it is important to have a talk with your partner about your dreams and your goals in life.
Marriage is a lifetime thing. So your partner has the right to know what he or she is signing up for. When you know each other’s goals, you can support each other well and you can also figure out a way to be happy together whiles going after your dreams.
2. Your past and secrets
You are going to marry this person. You are going to share a life with them. You are going to share a lot of things over the years. Including the most important of them all, children.
So this is someone you have to be completely honest with about any secrets and your past. Let them know what they are getting into. Let them know who they are going to share a life with and what life they are going to share with you.
Give them the chance to decide whether they can accept you, your past and your secrets and be able to live with that for the rest of their lives. I know, it can be difficult opening up to someone about the past, especially if it is something we are not proud of.
But one thing you should know is that, if this person is truly the one and they truly love you, your past won’t be a problem for them. They will understand that your past and your mistakes don’t define you. And they will even appreciate you being honest with them.
The past has a way of catching up with you, especially if you try so hard to keep it a secret. So come clean, tell them everything and if they are for real, they will love you more for your honesty and for trusting them enough to tell them.
Another serious thing to discuss is money and finances. Both of you must be open and transparent about your earnings and spending. So that you will know how you can manage your funds to be able to support your family.
Let your partner know if you are a big spender, they might be able to help you work on that. Let them know if you are in debt. Because it will be really frustrating for them to find out later about a loan you took which you didn’t tell them about.
It doesn’t matter if they weren’t in your life when you went in debt. Since they are going to share a life with you, they deserve to know all about our finances.
That way you can both decide on how you are going to manage your finances better. This includes how to budget, save and spend money as a couple. Be open and transparent with your spouse.
This is a very important topic that most people neglect. Yet it affects marriages a lot. You have to sit down with your partner and talk about sex. You need to discuss your sex life. What you can offer and what you can’t.
What you will be open to and what you won’t. What you like and what you don’t. Don’t be shy. Get it out there. Let them know your boundaries. If there aren’t any too, let them know. This way you wouldn’t be surprised when they try something in the bedroom.
When you finally get married, over the years things might change and you might be opened to trying certain things. But right now if you aren’t willing and ready for certain activities in the bedroom, let them know.
If you are someone who likes to get their freak on all the time, you have to let them know. This way your partner can decide if they can be able to satisfy your sexual needs all the time.
You have to discuss with your partner if you want kids or not and how many kids you want to have. It wouldn’t be fair to your partner if you marry them knowing very well you don’t want kids but they really want kids.
If you would love to have kids but there is a medical condition that prevents you from having kids, be open and honest with your partner. Because again, it wouldn’t be fair to your partner if you marry them knowing you can’t give them kids when all they talk about is how they can’t wait to start a family with you.
Marriage is a lifetime affair, so make sure you and your partner know each other very well. Before the walk down the aisle, be sure you and your partner have completely discussed these things.
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