Marriage is the ritual, done to combine two romantic partners to make them, husband and wife. It is done legally and or traditionally. They are combined into one soul. A marriage is the venue where the two partners are to be sincere with each other, love each other, and appreciate each other no matter what may happen.
But no matter how combined these two partners are, there are bound to be misunderstandings and conflict, or there arise situations where one or both of these partners start engaging in some things that pose risks to the unity the Almighty has made.
This behavior can cause a rift to be created between these two love birds. It is a very painful experience which when care is not taken, can affect the partners very much, and provided there are kids, it would be even more disastrous.
Aside from all these facts, dealing with marriage problems requires the expertise and experience of people who know what they are doing. However for a marriage to be saved, both partners must have already made that resolve to save that marriage if not, one person carrying this burden is definitely bound to fail.
This article was written with married couples in mind, and especially those who are going through the inevitable times. You must know that it happens. And no marriage is all easy and smooth sailing. There are ups and there are downs.
You should just have the cool-headed attitude to be able to, handle these situations with rational thoughts and not by impulsivity. If that was it, then most marriages would have turned into a wrestling arena.
However, before you can address a marital issue, you must know the importance of using soft language, using harsh words out of annoyance can further increase tensions and escalate the situation in the process.
Also, try to understand your partner’s point of view, you do that by listening. It may be that your partner did some wretched things, and you may feel like listening to them is a probably stupid idea, but it is not, hold that bruised ego of yours and have a listening ear for your partner. No criticisms, just that.
Since we are on a course to save our marriage, you have been provided with some things you do that put your marriage at risk, which you must learn to put a stop to or avoid immediately, if not your marriage will be at risk of failing, we do not want that, so let us dive right into it.
Things You Do That Put Your Marriage At Risk
Needless Conflicts And Disagreements With Spouse
Most married couples are very guilty of this point. Although conflicts and misunderstandings are inevitable when it comes to every relationship, that does not mean you must call for it on a whim.
Disagreements are supposed to strengthen your relationships, and that is when they occur at least once in a while. It is a way to settle differences and see things from each other’s point of view. It helps both partners to understand how the other thinks and accepts situations.
But when one or both of the spouses initiates conflicts on the basis of small unimportant issues, it puts the relationship at risk of failing. No matter how small conflicts are when given too much attention and energy, it is akin to adding fuel to a small spark.
They can escalate into something capable of crippling your marriage. Learn to overlook certain things that are of no importance, learn to let them slide. When you do that, you are not being a fool, you are rather prioritizing the safety of your marriage.
Conflicts are not entirely bad things, but when they are pointless and needless, you stress your partner and he or she may want out, at a point in time when they feels it is too much, thereby putting your marriage at risk of failing. Make sure to avoid needless confrontations. If they indeed occur, try to sort them out, if not, seek counseling.
Being Overly Insecure
Once you are married, you belong to your partner, and your partner likewise belongs to you. With this in mind, people still find it hard to believe their partner is theirs only.
You must accept the fact that, despite you both being married, you still have your usual social circles. You would meet with your friends in the normal fashion unless you both have set boundaries concerning that matter.
If not, you must not be overly jealous and have certain thoughts in your head that suggest that you think your partner is probably having an affair with her boss, or her male friends. You probably think. That is not a case tangible enough for you to concern yourself with. You must not assume anything, as it is the basis of increased insecurities in marriages.
But if you really know and have evidence of your partner doing something. Take the initiative and try to talk to your partner using calm words. If not, your insecurities might take charge of the situation, and you might regret your actions later.
It might be that, your partner actually was not cheating on you, what if your partner was paired together with whomever you think is cheating with to undertake a project together? If you do not seek to understand the situation, but rather based on your judgments and insecurities believe whatever, then trust me, that will be your flight ticket out of the marriage you have tried so hard to make happen.
Insecurity is a marriage murderer. Trust your partner, if you think something is not right, try to understand what your partner wants to put across. I understand you love your partner and as such do not want to share them, but insecurity? NO.
Indulging In Bad Habits
Bad habits can kill your marriage. It does not matter what it is, it will dilapidate your marriage. Bad habits like smoking and the use of hard drugs are one of the risk factors in most failing marriages. The hard truth is, that no partner would want to live with a partner who is an addict.
UNLESS your partner is willing to support you to quit. If everything seems to fail and you do not seem to want to stop. Then your partner will want out at some point.
Bad habits do not only include getting addicted to hard drugs and smoking, but it also includes behavioral habits such as bad health habits, porn and masturbation addiction, poor eating habits, not prioritizing cleanliness, and also being disrespectful or having certain toxic traits such as being abusive, a narcissist, and many more.
All these are bad habits you must keep an eye out for and avoid. And if you find yourself in any of them, be ready to quit and seek help. If not, your marriage would be hanging on a tightrope.
Infidelity
This is one of the most common reasons for divorce, and biblically, it is a very much accepted ground on which a man may divorce his wife. So far as you decided to say I do, to your husband, no matter what reason you had to cheat, you have no right to do that to your partner.
Once you wear your partner’s ring, you dare not engage in anything that can put your marriage in a precarious situation.
Since infidelity is one of the main causes of most marriages failing, couples are mostly advised to handle this situation with rational thoughts and a lot of caution. Truth is, infidelity is a painful experience. But when it happens, you must seek counselling immediately.
There must be a reason why a partner would decide to cheat, but regardless of how stupid the reason may sound, you both must be ready to handle the situation carefully in order to guard your marriage.
Failure To Take The Initiative
A lot can go wrong, in a moment of hesitation. Most marriage partners choose to bail out when they see things going south in the relationship. But as much as your partner is responsible for the strength and credibility of the marriage, so are you. When you sense that something is not right in your marriage, break the ice, and let your partner know what is happening.
It may be that you two are slowly drifting apart due to how busy your job might be, therefore making you have emotional affairs with colleagues at the workplace. Times like those are really dangerous for any relationship, if care is not taken and initiatives fail to go on, one or both if you might do things that will later cause the relationship, to be in a precarious situation.
Do not wait for your partner to point out the obvious. Do it, sit your partner down, let them know what you think is not going right, and right all those wrongs. This will also require good communication skills. Where you both listen with empathy and try to relate to what your partner wishes to put across the table.
Find ways to handle the situation and make your marriage stable if not, and you both decide to let things smoothen out by themselves, they might smoothen out alright, but not how you would have wanted it.
Not Forgiving
Marriage is life, and both partners will never be perfect. There will always be situations where your partner will piss you off, it may or may not be an intentional thing. However, you must learn to forgive your partner no matter what. If you feel the matter is unforgivable, seek advice and counseling. That is why there are marriage counselors.
Make use of them and know how to save your marriage by learning to forgive. Because forgiveness is a huge asset you might ever find in any situation. When you forgive, you are not a fool, you are a peacekeeper and a marriage saver.
It has been revealed that, people who learn to forgive have good heart health, reduced, stress levels, and depression. So my dear reader, you must learn to forgive, it will guide you in the long run, as well as your marriage.
Criticism In Marriage
Criticisms at first come in the form of compliments, and as time goes on it increases to be more passive-aggressive. It can hurt a lot when your partner keeps on ridiculing and criticizing you for every single thing. When that happens, it leads the victim to want out of the relationship.
Criticism initially should not have been a bad thing. Since it helps both partners to better themselves in a bid to please the other. But mostly, due to certain circumstances of being fed up with their presence, and many others, they resort to criticism as a form of subtle attacks, the best way to handle this is to give them space.
Let them be for a while until they finally seek your attention. It is best not to retaliate by being aggressive or sarcastic if not it might lead to situations you both might regret later.
Not Prioritising Intimacy
Intimacy is very much underrated by most married couples, especially the busy ones. When there arises a situation where one or both partners neglect the importance of being intimate, it leads to both partners drifting further apart from each other, emotionally and also physically.
The credibility of being intimate in a relationship can never be undermined. This element of marriage does not include sex only. It is more than just sex, it includes spending time alone cooking or having a conversation, meaningful or not. It encompasses everything that leads to you both growing together emotionally, as well as being attached to each other.
Therefore no matter how busy you both may seem, you must make time to be intimate. If not, continuously depriving yourselves of this important attribute, may lead to your marriage going downhill unconsciously.
Final Words
To save your marriage, you must avoid these things listed on this blog post, or else, disregarding them will be very dangerous to the stability of your marriage. But most importantly of them all please learn to forgive, it is the apex of it all. Save Your marriage, my dear, and be happy.
