Relationships aren’t perfect. We all hope they are, but we know better. There are good days then there are terrible, terrible days when it feels like it is over. But who knows relationships better than those who spend all their days together? They don’t exactly have to be married by its legal meaning, but they have to share a home and maybe even finances, children, and businesses.
You will learn a lot from couples who have been through it all-the transition from girlfriend-boyfriend to marriage, the children that came one after the other, the financial setbacks, the failed businesses, etc.
So, while you’re basking in the glow of your recently announced engagement, try to plan what your married friends’ roles will be now that you are about to get married, too. Unlike your other single friends, they won’t always be available for chit-chat because they’re either taking care of their kids or their husbands. They won’t be taking shots until the wee hours of the morning for the first week since your engagement because yes, again, there are chores to do at home.
Marriage sounds boring, but it is this structure and stability that people need in their lives. No, your married friends are not going to be mixing cocktails until 3 am, but they’re going to try their best to be awake until 12 midnight to make sure that you’re safe at your own party. That’s the maternal and paternal instinct they start to develop once they are married.
3 things your married friends can help with after your engagement
Throw a party
The party that your married friends will throw for you might not be like the kind your single friends will organize. Your married friends, generally, should be more stable financially. They will have more money to spend on your bachelorette party.
So, what better way to celebrate your engagement than to throw an elegant party by hiring a hen’s party boat? A few hours aboard the boat will be something you’ll remember forever.
Then again, if they do not have that kind of resources, they can always go for something more serious such as a cooking class, a spa date, a wine-tasting session, or they can even take you to counsel. The important thing is they have an agenda in mind when they throw this “party” for you. They’re thinking about what you will most likely enjoy as opposed to what they like.
Go and get dinner with your married friends once you are done celebrating your engagement. A quiet lunch or dinner will make for a nice respite from the business of planning your wedding. They’ve been there before; they also planned their own wedding. Pick their brain about it.
They can give great advice when it comes to what you thought you need before you got married as opposed to what you truly want on the day itself. Plus, you will learn about saving for the rainy days, too.
Aside from that, your married friends might also share with you something no one in your single friends will tell you: go to counseling. The transition to married life isn’t easy. Even if you have been living together for a year, there’s something different about finally legalizing your union and sharing all the elements of your life-from finances to insurance policies to family issues. The best advice you’re going to get is to make sure this transition runs as smoothly as possible by going to counseling.
Talk About Money
If there is one thing you should never skip after getting engaged, it is to talk about money. Who will handle the household finances? What about the loans? Who will be responsible for saving for retirement? These are just some of the most important questions you will face when you plan to settle down.
You should talk about these topics now and not after the wedding. If there is one thing every couple has learned, it is how important communication lines are, especially when it comes to money. You don’t want your first argument as a married couple to be about money.
It is easy to get caught up in the idea of spending the rest of your life with someone you love but remember that it is a work in progress. The wedding is just the first step. So, while you’re reveling at the ring on your finger, seek advice also from people who have been in your position before and who have, at least until now, successfully navigated the complexities of married life. They have a lot to say and you have a lot of learning to do.