Manipulation is a technique that dates back to primordial times. It is a concept that was known only to the aristocrats and royals of the past, and it is the same even in our modern world.
Although widely used, very few people actually understand and are privy to the concept of manipulation. There are people who use it without realizing they have.
Naturally, every single person is endowed with basic manipulative skills that they acquire as they grow. Typical examples include persuasion, seduction, intimidation, subtle coercion, and a lot more.
Currently, only politicians, business people, advertisers, select people and generally, great men are the few people who know how to use manipulation skills to their advantage such that people still have no idea when they are being manipulated.
Just as certain things have twofold effects, the same applies to manipulation. It can be used for very good means as well as very bad means, especially when they are used to cause harm of some sort to victims.
Manipulation can happen psychologically and emotionally. But this article will combine all forms of manipulation in one single article so that you my dear reader would have a general idea when it comes to the topic ‘ manipulation ‘
Manipulation: What Does It Mean?
Manipulation is when a person employs devious means and techniques on another to get what they want from them. They would either do so by attacking the victim psychologically which is mostly used by advertisers, politicians, and businessmen. Or, they would attack the victim emotionally which is used by family members, friends, lovers, and others.
You must understand however that, any form of manipulation be it emotional or psychological is a form of abuse that can only work on you if you have low self-esteem or you are naturally immature. Although they mostly work on strong-willed people, however, the success rate can be quite laughable.
In this article, you will be provided with tips on how to know when you are being manipulated and then the manipulative techniques you need to watch out for.
How To Spot Manipulation At Work
When you are being manipulated, unless the person is a novice, you would never realize until the person has got what is to be got from you. In this section, I will give you how you can determine if you are being manipulated.
First Trust Your Instincts
To begin my points, you must always trust your gut whenever you converse with people. You must watch out and determine by certain cues if you are being a victim of manipulation or not.
Certain cues such as, if you feel your mind can not keep up with whatever the other is doing, that can be a clear sign that you are probably being manipulated. If you feel confused about a concept the other person is proposing to you, take your time, and take a step back, analyze the situation carefully. Then would you know if you are being manipulated or not?
When The People Victimizes Themselves
When the person you are dealing with tries to find ways to make you feel sympathetic towards them, beware, you could be potentially targeted for manipulation.
When a person does this, they normally target your emotions. This person can fabricate a story or tell you things, that paint a pitiful image of them in your sight. If you know this person already, say your wife, she would try to make herself look pitiable when you fail to do certain things for her.
For instance, she might have told you some time ago to buy her a car. But, since you can not quite afford it at the moment, you decide to do so at some other time.
The moment she realizes you have decided not to, she would give you loads of crap about how you do not value her, how you actually want her to suffer, and so on.
Children are also very good at using this method. The moment you smell self-victimization, you must know that manipulation is lurking somewhere in the dark.
When There Is An Influx Of Information
The moment you feel there is an influx of information, beware. Deceit is not very far away. When a person wants to manipulate you, they would give you too much information at once. So much so that, at that point you would be confused.
The moment this person sees that you are confused, they would immediately add their own twisted version of the information, that would seem more familiar to you.
But as I have said before, whenever you interact with a person, make sure you are of sound mind such that you can follow whatever is it that you are talking about.
If not and you get confused, especially when this person provides information with excess, you must be careful. That might be a form of manipulative tactic.
Sudden Showering Of Attention
Another thing to watch out for when a person wants to manipulate you is when they suddenly start giving you attention which was not there prior to your current meeting.
When you see that, my dear reader, you must flee. Flee as far as your legs can carry you and never look back. At that point, a very smart person would know something is up. The sudden attention may be in the form of attending to your every basic need.
After some time this person would behave as if you were never there, this tactic is called Love Bombing, and we will highlight it by the end of this article.
Another thing is, that this person would insist on you speaking first as a form of being nice or just wants to know your most insignificant views. In that case, you must take note that, they want to know your thoughts so that they can use the several tricks they have up their sleeves against you.
Watch out do not mistake it for a change in attitude. It is a chance to get what they want. It is manipulation at work.
When Your Insecurities Are Brought To Light
When a person is intent on manipulating you, they would bring up your flaws and weaknesses. Since they might know you well, they would try to use those weaknesses to their advantage.
They could bring them up while you are in a public place, especially to make sure to get your full attention. Most of the time, they would want to use this method as a form of blackmail if you do not seem to comply with their wants. This is a blatant display of manipulation.
When They Give You The Silent Treatment
Another way to notice when a person wants to manipulate you is they give you the silent treatment, they would ignore you outright.
This is mostly done by your significant other or if you would remember clearly your mother probably used it on you some time ago. Yes, that is a manipulative technique.
So when this person decides to pretend as if you do not exist, it may be that you refused to comply to something they told you to do. In order to get you to do it by hook or crook, that would be the best method to use against you especially since you would come seeking emotional connection. You must understand that. It is manipulation at work.
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When They Try To Take You Out Of Your Comfort Zone
Naturally, it is a nice idea. It would make their manipulative tricks work better to their advantage. Location can play a very important role in manipulation. Take for instance a mommy’s boy who is taken to the streets or somewhere a little different from where he is used to. No matter what you put to him, unless he is nut-headed, it would be as simple as slicing cheese, getting what you want from him.
So anytime someone tries to take you or persuade you to come out of your shell, for a little chat, you must understand it is the calm before the storm. Be careful.
They Show You Their Vulnerabilities
When a person wants to manipulate you, one thing they mostly do is to let you know their vulnerabilities. This is mostly done by businessmen and salesmen.
Also, people use it in relationships too. They would tell you things they claim are secrets about them only you know. They let you know firsthand how uncomfortable they are, telling you such a secret.
You should know that it is a means to throw you off guard, a means to let you feel obliged to do something for them, knowing their little secret. They also do it to get more intimate with you. By the time you realize, you would have obliged to his or her needs.
So, whenever you are in a position where you feel a person is needlessly revealing their weaknesses to you. You must be careful. It could be manipulation at work.
Usage Of Unnecessary Technical Terms
In a conversation, when you ever get this feeling that a person is suddenly using certain technical terms and jargon in the dialogue, such that you are left behind, be sure to know that, the person has thoughts of manipulating you. If not, a truly sincere person would use simple language to make you understand a situation no matter how complex the topic is.
Being Aggressive All Of A sudden
People who would manipulate you can become violent or aggressive all of a sudden. This sudden change in behaviour is meant to intimidate you to do their bidding. You are being manipulated be careful.
When There Are Distortion Of Facts
Another thing a person would do when he or she wants to manipulate you is to distort certain facts that would create confusion.
You may be aware of the truth with or without their knowledge but still, they would find ways to distort the knowledge you know, as well as find ways to invalidate them by imposing theirs on you. My dear reader, that there, is a manipulative technique, you may be at risk.
When You Are Being Reminded Of Your Past Mistake
When a person wants to manipulate you, they would try bringing up certain mistakes you did in the past in an attempt to make you feel guilty, especially when the mistake was a refusal to their needs some time ago.
They would bring it up and find ways to question your morality. In the end, getting what they want is the real deal. It is a manipulative technique.
Manipulative Techniques That You Should Know
Guilt Tripping
This is a method used by the manipulator to make you feel guilty about yourself. They would bring up something you did some time ago that, brings up shame and guilt. They do this to make you liable to heed to their demands, because you may want them to quit talking about it.
Gaslighting
This is a technique that is quite popular among the masses. It is mostly used in relationships where one is easily gullible. It works like this, the manipulator or abuser would find ways and means to make you have second thoughts about your own beliefs, perception, memory, etc.
What the manipulator basically seeks to do is to confuse you, as well as undermine your self-confidence. When this person is successful in doing that, you the victim enter a stage where your self-esteem drops significantly, because you are not so sure of yourself. Thereby creating in you a dependency on the manipulator.
Infantilization
This is a technique used mostly by parents. But people are incorporating it into their relationships. With this method, the abuser undermines your every action, even the most insignificant ones.
He employs means and mind tricks to make you feel as if you are a child. Mostly they would reprimand you unnecessarily. Also, they would be always keeping an eye on your every action as if to make sure, you are doing nothing stupid. This however downplays your confidence and self-esteem. In the end, a certain dependency is created between you and the abuser.
Love Bombing
This technique is used mostly when a person wants to attract the opposite sex. Also, it is used in relationships where a partner wants to gain a certain kind of control over the other.
The abuser showers the other with love and attention so much so that, the victim becomes used to the feeling of always being the center of attention.
After some time, when the abuser feels he has gotten hold of your emotions, they start to use it to their advantage. The abuser can decide to quit seeing the victim and since the victim is obsessed with all the attention and care and all that, this victim would do whatever it takes to get that attention back which makes the initial plan of the abuser a perfect one.
Final Words
Aside from these most common ones, there are more secretive and dangerous ones I’ll write an article about later. So make sure to bookmark the page, and check out from time to time.
