Happy new year lovely people. The new year just began and today I’m sharing with you a post about people you need to drop in your life. These are people who are toxic for you. They are not good for your physical health, emotional health and psychological health.
Being in a relationship with them only brings tears in your eyes and sadness in your heart. I mean why hold on to something that is killing you slowly all in the name of love? If it is destroying you, then it is not love and it is not worth holding on to.
The fear of being alone makes us stay in toxic relationships even when we know it is not good for us. I know this because I’ve been there before. Been in a relationship that every night I say to myself I am so breaking up with him tomorrow because he’s always making me sad. Then I wake up in the morning and I’m like but I dont want to be alone, at least I have someone.
But a bad relationship will make you feel more alone than actually being single. If you cry yourself to sleep most nights because of a relationship, that relationship is toxic for you and you should let go.
So, sometimes you have to forget how you feel and focus on what you deserve. If someone loves you, if they truly care about you, they wouldn’t put themselves in a position to lose you.
They wouldn’t hurt you for any reason. If someone loves you, they will treasure you and treat you right. And if you love yourself, you wouldn’t put yourself through this everyday.
I know that breaking up with someone you love is very painful but being in a toxic relationship is worse. You feel like you are in a relationship alone. The love always feels one sided and you are never truly happy.
But if you will have the courage to let go such a relationship, soon you will be happy about the decision you made because it was the right thing to do.
These are the signs that you are in a toxic relationship and you should let go, for your own good.
Signs you are in a toxic relationship
1. They always bring up your past and judge you with it.
We’ve all done things in the past we are not proud of. Even in our relationships, we are bound to offend our partners, one way or the other.
But if you are in a relationship with someone who always brings up something you did in the past and use it as a way to judge you, then that isn’t right.
The past is something you are trying to leave behind you, they bringing it up all the time won’t do any good for you. With people like that, it doesn’t matter how much you try to atone for your mistakes, they will always bring it up like you are not even trying.
2. They are selfish
Toxic people are selfish. It’s all about them, what they want and how they want it. When it comes to such people, your needs don’t matter. They don’t care how something is making you feel. So long as they are happy, they are good.
You find yourself compromising all the time because you want to keep the peace. You do things you know don’t make you happy, just so you can please them. Not that they don’t know it doesn’t make you happy.
It can even be that you’ve told them about how you feel but they still keep to their selfish ways because that is who they are and how you feel doesn’t matter to them.
We all compromise in relationships. After all there is no way two different people can like the same exact thing but compromising means coming to a decision that is okay with both parties. Not just one person.
But if you are in a relationship and your partner is always all about them and they don’t take your needs into consideration too, then they are not good for you.
3. They want you to put them first but they don’t make you a priority
If the feelings are mutual in a relationship, then the efforts will be mutual too. But if you are in a relationship with someone who never puts you first even though you make them a priority in your life, then they are toxic for you.
Someone who truly cares for you will always make you a priority in life. So if you are in a relationship where you feel like everything else is important to your partner but you aren’t then that is a toxic relationship and you should let go.
4. They are controlling and wont allow you to be yourself
Toxic people are so controlling. They make sure to always have their way. You always have to do as they say and you can’t even be yourself when you are around them.
Note that there is a difference between a partner who is looking out for you and making sure you don’t get into trouble and a partner who simply doesn’t want you to be yourself.
Such people try to put you down and make you feel like you are not good enough and so you need to only listen to them and do what you are told.
The truth is that sometimes these people do that to you because they are afraid you will discover your true potential and realize that they are not right for you. Making you feel you are incapable is just how they keep you stuck on them and unhappy.
5. They don’t care about your feelings
When you are in a toxic relationship, your partner doesn’t care about your feelings. Very sad but true. They do things that will hurt you when they know it will hurt you.
Sometimes, they will do those things just to hurt you. Now why be in a relationship with someone, or even if it is not a romantic relationship, why be around someone who will hurt you on purpose just because they want to hurt you?
6. They never apologize and they never accept their mistakes
There are definitely going to be times when your partner might offend you. But if your partner never accepts their mistakes and apologise for them, then that is not right.
Some even go as far as making you feel guilty for their mistakes. They find a way to turn things around like you are in the wrong. When they know very well that they are the ones that made the mistake.
7. Everything you do is wrong
It is like you can never do anything right with them so you walk on eggshells around them. For them, everything you do is wrong. It doesn’t matter how much you try to get things right, you are always wrong.
You are not confident when you are around them. Because you are always trying so hard to make sure you get things right with them. Which never seems to work anyways.
8. It’s difficult to communicate with them
It’s difficult to have any conversation with them about anything at all. They either ignore you or the conversations turn into a fight. Communication is a very important part of any healthy relationship.
So if you are in a relationship and you can’t say anything to your partner.Whether it is because you are afraid that what you say might offend them or because you don’t want to end up fighting, then that is a toxic relationship sign.
If you are in a relationship and you experience three or more of these signs often, that relationship is toxic for you and you have to let go. Also, bear in mind that toxic people aren’t only people you are in a romantic relationship with.
They can be friends or even family. But it is advisable to let go such people. Don’t let them drain you with their negative energy.
Letting go toxic relationships and toxic people
Most often than not, we find ourselves holding on to toxic relationships even though we know they aren’t good for us. People hold on to toxic relationships for various reasons.
But to be able to let go, you have to first figure out why you are still holding on. Once you know why you are still holding on, it will be easy to let go. So below we will discuss various reasons why people hold on to toxic relationships and toxic people and how to let go.
Why people hold on to toxic relationships
The fear of starting over
It could be the fear of starting over. Sometimes, it can be that the only reason why someone is holding on to something they know isn’t good for them is because they are afraid to start over.
You know what they say, the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know. With this mindset, people hold on even when they know something is bad for them.
This usually applies when we hold on to toxic people and toxic relationships. We feel at least, we know this person, we know what to expect so it’s better than letting go and meeting new people who might even turn out to be worse than this.
But it is important that you change your mindset. Yes, the new person might turn out to be worse but they might also turn out to be great. You wouldn’t know unless you let go of the toxic people in your life and let in new people.
So don’t let the fear of starting over, keep you attached to something or someone that is hurting you. Have the courage to let go and embrace positive people in your life.
They get comfortable
Other times people hold on because they get comfortable. Yes, I know. It sounds ironic to say that something that is bad for you is making you comfortable but that is very true.
Sometimes people hold on to toxic people because of the way they make them feel. Someone may be holding on to a toxic person because of the things they do for them.
An example is being in a relationship with someone who don’t only criticize you all the time, they also physically and verbally abuse you. But because they always come back to apologise with something pretty you stay.
So they beat you up and they say sorry with a necklace and so you feel that oh, they aren’t all bad and we get used to the nice things they do for us. So we keep holding on.
You have to realise that your wellbeing is more important that temporal comfort. So if the reason why you are holding on to something that you are aware is bad for you is because it is comfortable, then please let go, because it is not worth it.
Failure to forgive
Another reason why people keep holding on is that they don’t forgive themselves. This usually applies when we hold on to the past. You have to understand that what’s done is done.
Some people feel that they deserve whatever thing they are going through in their relationship because of something they did in the past. They feel it’s their punishment for their mistakes and so they deserve it.
You can’t change the past. Thinking about it and holding on to it won’t change anything. So instead of holding on to the past, forgive yourself and let go.
It doesn’t matter what you did in the past, you deserve to be happy too. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship with someone who cares about you and loves you. So forgive yourself and let go off toxic relationships.
Forgiving yourself is just as important as forgiving people who wrong you. So if you are able to forgive people when they offend you, why is it so hard for you to forgive yourself? Don’t you think you deserve the same forgiveness you give to others? Learn to forgive yourself and let go off the past.
Letting go off toxic relationship is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes it will require the help of our friends and loved ones to gain the strength we need to let go.
Sometimes we might even need professional help to be able to do this. But whatever it takes, it is important that we let go off anything that isn’t good for us and focus on the things that are best for our well-being.